travel light before traveling stupid

O HAI! we're back. and we won't bother doing a Portuguese version anymore. why? because we're lazy. we don't even use capitals much.

so, anyway, if you're in the mood for traveling, how about taking a schmuck with you? no? are you sure? we have them in many, many sizes.





a lil' schmuck case, perhaps?





still no? well, we tried. it's not our fault you're such a schmuck.

(cell phone picture taken by the staff)

beat on the rat with the baseball bat

PT: Fico aqui pensando se os 'tacos' são bastões literais pra matar ratos. Ao menos ninguém pode chegar lá e se sentir desavisado.

EN: No, it's not the price that's making Anderson a bit scared... but I think it's safe to say he's not that excited about having rat for dinner tonight. Right?




this is from a newsletter. alternative skunk version here. I mean text, text version. (here)

Rule #1: we need the right servley

PT: Quem mais imagina a equipe de Sergio K concebendo essa "estampa" em um guardanapo de papel? Concepção essa, feita por alguém cuja grafia do número cinco é, digamos, bastante fluida?

EN: Having to look at this shirt was probably the worse IS minutes of my life too.




original: Sergio K collection for C&A (shot with my phone)

we need live aid.

PT: Festival de analfabetismo: seria esse um termo muito forte para descrever um evento em que nem de graça as pessoas querem ir?

EN: Well, since the sentence needed a subject, we thought we might help. But it's help on their terms, of course. And no, so far we have no idea whether Anderson is upset because of all the bad grammar or because Linkin Park is putting out another album.




(original)

howw soon is noww?

PT: Gramática correta: mais fora de moda do que qualquer coisa que você vestiu há três meses.

EN: I think I speak for anyone here when I say we caan't waait. Who said grammar was fashionable?



(original)

context | via

follow the leader

PT: Hummmmmm, como colocar isso de forma eloquente? Chupa New York Times?

EN: Oh, come on, it's only the NYT. It's not like it's a real newspaper.

I keep thinking someone who would write this would also go "Dammit, how did MS Word not know that one?!" afterwards.



(original — now fixed)

via @johnemcintyre

É proibido fumar, diz a matéria gramaticalmente incorreta que eu li.

PT: Eu sabia que esse dia chegaria! Finalmente Samuel Rosa e cia. são, oficialmente, droga.

EN: Rest assured it is not a slutty strain of pot. It's just tasteless music.




(original)

osso duro de roer.

PT: Sugestão: contratar um revisor, durão, daqueles que não deixam passar nada.

EN: When in doubt, check things. On the spot. Personally, I would have translated it as "lorem ipsum".




(original)

Come on, vogue! Let your grammar move to the music.

PT: Conseguir, de todas as alternativas, utilizar aquela que não existe em nenhuma das duas línguas é obra de mestre.

EN: Well, it's VOGUE. Can't really expect *that* much.




(original)

you could be fine

PT: Modelu, atris, tradutoura, grupie e rainha foguetera.

EN: Seriously, could this get any better? (It's so tempting to add a "Back Off Bitch" here right now... oops!)




(original)

Welcome To The Jungle: Guns n' Roses in Brazil (special edition)

PT: Dando início à série de pérolas coletadas durante a passagem do Gn'R pelo Brasil com uma homenagem àqueles que fazem do show uma experiência realmente inesquecível: os ambulantes! Enjoy!

EN: The Brazilian leg of the tour has been spanning so many gems, we're starting a whole series. And of course we must begin with the people who make it all happen: the fans the ones who take advantage of concert-goers (we didn't see that many fans, really).




originally snapped with my phone.

fragrante: this title makes no sense in English and neither does any of the content of this post.

PT: Jeitinho brasileiro (ou seria Homer Simpson) característico, onde é comum se achar muito, mas muito inteligente.

EN: These (or is it 'theses'?) are examples of "where do we begin?!", so Anderson thought it would be better if only the incorrect spelling was highlighted. Believe me, these (theses?) are all worth the read.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)


(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

bonus from the block:

(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

(original)

RedeTV: teasing on a whole new level.

PT: Ninguém foi capaz de chamar a Gimenez pra consultoria?

EN: The network has a tv ad explaining how modern its website is, soundtracked to dialup modem sounds, so I'm sure grammar is not really a priority there.




(original) Front page only, will not be there in a few days unfortunately.

the deforestation of the English language

PT: Grobo e você: profissionalismo pra quê?

EN: We'll just stick to what's more easily unveiled in the image. I still see no costumes though.



(original)

home sweet home

PT: Pra que software? Pra que hardware? Homeware é a cara do Brasil! Sair pra trabalhar é coisa do passado!

EN: In case you didn't know, "homeware" encompasses tools for freelancers who work their asses off at home. Duh.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

(original) sorry, must be logged in.

slutty nail polish FAIL

PT: A tempo pro Carnaval 2010! Seria um sucesso na avenida (e nos salões)!

EN: Made in U.S.A. with a Brazilian touch I guess.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

The original is locked inside my closet to prevent inappropriate behavior.

A Soprano da Ópera do Sabão

PT: Imagina se a vaporosa falasse alemão.

EN: The original layout killed me, but I was able to extract a few gems. And that's why nothing else has been highlighted on this one. The selected two deserve their fifteen minutes of lame fame.




(original) WARNING: worst layout ever; it's a MySpace profile so turn the volume way down before clicking. I'm not responsible for any aural damage.

can you fundraise my rent?

PT: Pô, eu com dois diplomas não arranjo patrocínio nem pra disputa de bocha da Associação de Apoio à Melhor Idade do bairro. Seguindo a linha de raciocínio da didática na imagem, o tradutor do Google define "little red neck" como a tradução de "caipirinha". Certo?

EN: Nothing new. I thought I'd stick to the basic grammar monstrosities, since virtually everything came be from Google Language Tools. I can't help but wonder how anyone would sponsor something like this. Brazilian NYC enthusiast Carlos Miele maybe?



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

(original)

this writ must've had a good teach

PT: Agora Gimenez pode dizer que tem um camarim com o designer muito bonito. Caprichando no sotaque da terra da rainha, é claro.

EN: Let's just think for a second: would you let the writer operate on you, were he/she a doctor?




(original)

this is what happens...

PT: Piadinhas da antiga MTV à parte, mesmo britânicos perdem a gramática no Brasil.

EN:...When people stop being polite... and start coming to Brazil.
(hint: illiteracy)




(original)