travel light before traveling stupid

O HAI! we're back. and we won't bother doing a Portuguese version anymore. why? because we're lazy. we don't even use capitals much.

so, anyway, if you're in the mood for traveling, how about taking a schmuck with you? no? are you sure? we have them in many, many sizes.





a lil' schmuck case, perhaps?





still no? well, we tried. it's not our fault you're such a schmuck.

(cell phone picture taken by the staff)

Rule #1: we need the right servley

PT: Quem mais imagina a equipe de Sergio K concebendo essa "estampa" em um guardanapo de papel? Concepção essa, feita por alguém cuja grafia do número cinco é, digamos, bastante fluida?

EN: Having to look at this shirt was probably the worse IS minutes of my life too.




original: Sergio K collection for C&A (shot with my phone)

osso duro de roer.

PT: Sugestão: contratar um revisor, durão, daqueles que não deixam passar nada.

EN: When in doubt, check things. On the spot. Personally, I would have translated it as "lorem ipsum".




(original)

you could be fine

PT: Modelu, atris, tradutoura, grupie e rainha foguetera.

EN: Seriously, could this get any better? (It's so tempting to add a "Back Off Bitch" here right now... oops!)




(original)

Welcome To The Jungle: Guns n' Roses in Brazil (special edition)

PT: Dando início à série de pérolas coletadas durante a passagem do Gn'R pelo Brasil com uma homenagem àqueles que fazem do show uma experiência realmente inesquecível: os ambulantes! Enjoy!

EN: The Brazilian leg of the tour has been spanning so many gems, we're starting a whole series. And of course we must begin with the people who make it all happen: the fans the ones who take advantage of concert-goers (we didn't see that many fans, really).




originally snapped with my phone.

fragrante: this title makes no sense in English and neither does any of the content of this post.

PT: Jeitinho brasileiro (ou seria Homer Simpson) característico, onde é comum se achar muito, mas muito inteligente.

EN: These (or is it 'theses'?) are examples of "where do we begin?!", so Anderson thought it would be better if only the incorrect spelling was highlighted. Believe me, these (theses?) are all worth the read.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)


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bonus from the block:

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(original)

RedeTV: teasing on a whole new level.

PT: Ninguém foi capaz de chamar a Gimenez pra consultoria?

EN: The network has a tv ad explaining how modern its website is, soundtracked to dialup modem sounds, so I'm sure grammar is not really a priority there.




(original) Front page only, will not be there in a few days unfortunately.

the deforestation of the English language

PT: Grobo e você: profissionalismo pra quê?

EN: We'll just stick to what's more easily unveiled in the image. I still see no costumes though.



(original)

home sweet home

PT: Pra que software? Pra que hardware? Homeware é a cara do Brasil! Sair pra trabalhar é coisa do passado!

EN: In case you didn't know, "homeware" encompasses tools for freelancers who work their asses off at home. Duh.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

(original) sorry, must be logged in.

A Soprano da Ópera do Sabão

PT: Imagina se a vaporosa falasse alemão.

EN: The original layout killed me, but I was able to extract a few gems. And that's why nothing else has been highlighted on this one. The selected two deserve their fifteen minutes of lame fame.




(original) WARNING: worst layout ever; it's a MySpace profile so turn the volume way down before clicking. I'm not responsible for any aural damage.

this is what happens...

PT: Piadinhas da antiga MTV à parte, mesmo britânicos perdem a gramática no Brasil.

EN:...When people stop being polite... and start coming to Brazil.
(hint: illiteracy)




(original)

I just lost my appealtite.

PT: Revista Época, sempre motivo de orgulho.

EN: When you work for Globo, like Pedro Bial, why would you need to know any English?




(original)

Big Brother (of Grammar) Is Watching You

PT: Bial conceitual sensacional. Por que um jornalista precisaria saber outra língua, pra falar nela? Que coisa mais regrada essa internet. No seu caso, as palavras "big" e "brother" já são suficientes.

EN: One of Brazil's most celebrated journalists (of yore) is not struggling enough, apparently.




(original)

imitando Fernanda Young

PT: Fernanda Young é tão culta, mas tão culta, que sua cultura equivale à cultura da assessoria (?) da Josi.

EN: Brazilian writer wants to do Playboy because she's an enlightened intellectual.
Pleonastic, I know, I'm exercising my tautology, just as she's exercising her grammar, calling a dance pole a pole dance.




(original)

Growling Stone and the RATionalization of attitude

PT: Se tem uma coisa que a gente adora, é quando o erro é tão errado, que até a URL vem errada de brinde. Então é bem possível que a imagem abaixo não tenha necessidade de explicação. Se você entende de horóscopo chinês, e das possibilidades de um cão ser confundido com um rato, fique a vontade para explicar.

EN: Maybe they've mistaken the dog for a rat? Pretty plausible, I'd say. I don't blame them.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

original: http://www.rollingstone.com.br/secoes/novas/noticias/weezer-divulga-faixas-de-ratitude

edit: bonus track

I'm starting to think it's on purpose, really.


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(original)

ménage à trois

PT: Talvez uma tática de camuflagem de erros? Confundir as pessoas chamando atenção para erros em uma língua, fazendo com que você esqueça dos erros nas outras?

EN: I never thought I'd see the day when brazinglish and frenglish would come together so magnificently (and that I'd know enough French to get it).




(original)

inivisible plural

PT: Ih! Ó lá: O plural não tinha seguro!

EN: Pluralism and possessive case not included. Please check with your agent.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

(original)

Carla Perez fazendo (i di) iscola

PT: Comentários sarcásticos desnecessários, apenas não podíamos deixar passar.

EN: Well, what can I say? Brazinglish is an up-and-coming language and soon, the world will be ours? I mean, it definitely feels that way.



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(original but it's been corrected already)

Herbs Without Prejudice Vol. 1

PT:. Essa onda de fakes não tem mesmo limites! Até o preconceito já tem um!

EN: fake prejudice: when in reality, you love something, but are afraid to let people know about it.




(original)

p.s. > thanks, George Michael for the inspiration!

♫ healph! I need somebody... ♫

PT: Que tal prolongar sua vida? Assim dá tempo de aprender um novo idioma!

EN: I don't really think I want my life prolonged like that.



(original)