travel light before traveling stupid

O HAI! we're back. and we won't bother doing a Portuguese version anymore. why? because we're lazy. we don't even use capitals much.

so, anyway, if you're in the mood for traveling, how about taking a schmuck with you? no? are you sure? we have them in many, many sizes.





a lil' schmuck case, perhaps?





still no? well, we tried. it's not our fault you're such a schmuck.

(cell phone picture taken by the staff)

Rule #1: we need the right servley

PT: Quem mais imagina a equipe de Sergio K concebendo essa "estampa" em um guardanapo de papel? Concepção essa, feita por alguém cuja grafia do número cinco é, digamos, bastante fluida?

EN: Having to look at this shirt was probably the worse IS minutes of my life too.




original: Sergio K collection for C&A (shot with my phone)

we need live aid.

PT: Festival de analfabetismo: seria esse um termo muito forte para descrever um evento em que nem de graça as pessoas querem ir?

EN: Well, since the sentence needed a subject, we thought we might help. But it's help on their terms, of course. And no, so far we have no idea whether Anderson is upset because of all the bad grammar or because Linkin Park is putting out another album.




(original)

howw soon is noww?

PT: Gramática correta: mais fora de moda do que qualquer coisa que você vestiu há três meses.

EN: I think I speak for anyone here when I say we caan't waait. Who said grammar was fashionable?



(original)

context | via

Come on, vogue! Let your grammar move to the music.

PT: Conseguir, de todas as alternativas, utilizar aquela que não existe em nenhuma das duas línguas é obra de mestre.

EN: Well, it's VOGUE. Can't really expect *that* much.




(original)

you could be fine

PT: Modelu, atris, tradutoura, grupie e rainha foguetera.

EN: Seriously, could this get any better? (It's so tempting to add a "Back Off Bitch" here right now... oops!)




(original)

Welcome To The Jungle: Guns n' Roses in Brazil (special edition)

PT: Dando início à série de pérolas coletadas durante a passagem do Gn'R pelo Brasil com uma homenagem àqueles que fazem do show uma experiência realmente inesquecível: os ambulantes! Enjoy!

EN: The Brazilian leg of the tour has been spanning so many gems, we're starting a whole series. And of course we must begin with the people who make it all happen: the fans the ones who take advantage of concert-goers (we didn't see that many fans, really).




originally snapped with my phone.

fragrante: this title makes no sense in English and neither does any of the content of this post.

PT: Jeitinho brasileiro (ou seria Homer Simpson) característico, onde é comum se achar muito, mas muito inteligente.

EN: These (or is it 'theses'?) are examples of "where do we begin?!", so Anderson thought it would be better if only the incorrect spelling was highlighted. Believe me, these (theses?) are all worth the read.



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bonus from the block:

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(original)

the deforestation of the English language

PT: Grobo e você: profissionalismo pra quê?

EN: We'll just stick to what's more easily unveiled in the image. I still see no costumes though.



(original)

home sweet home

PT: Pra que software? Pra que hardware? Homeware é a cara do Brasil! Sair pra trabalhar é coisa do passado!

EN: In case you didn't know, "homeware" encompasses tools for freelancers who work their asses off at home. Duh.



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(original) sorry, must be logged in.

slutty nail polish FAIL

PT: A tempo pro Carnaval 2010! Seria um sucesso na avenida (e nos salões)!

EN: Made in U.S.A. with a Brazilian touch I guess.



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The original is locked inside my closet to prevent inappropriate behavior.

A Soprano da Ópera do Sabão

PT: Imagina se a vaporosa falasse alemão.

EN: The original layout killed me, but I was able to extract a few gems. And that's why nothing else has been highlighted on this one. The selected two deserve their fifteen minutes of lame fame.




(original) WARNING: worst layout ever; it's a MySpace profile so turn the volume way down before clicking. I'm not responsible for any aural damage.

can you fundraise my rent?

PT: Pô, eu com dois diplomas não arranjo patrocínio nem pra disputa de bocha da Associação de Apoio à Melhor Idade do bairro. Seguindo a linha de raciocínio da didática na imagem, o tradutor do Google define "little red neck" como a tradução de "caipirinha". Certo?

EN: Nothing new. I thought I'd stick to the basic grammar monstrosities, since virtually everything came be from Google Language Tools. I can't help but wonder how anyone would sponsor something like this. Brazilian NYC enthusiast Carlos Miele maybe?



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(original)

this writ must've had a good teach

PT: Agora Gimenez pode dizer que tem um camarim com o designer muito bonito. Caprichando no sotaque da terra da rainha, é claro.

EN: Let's just think for a second: would you let the writer operate on you, were he/she a doctor?




(original)

this is what happens...

PT: Piadinhas da antiga MTV à parte, mesmo britânicos perdem a gramática no Brasil.

EN:...When people stop being polite... and start coming to Brazil.
(hint: illiteracy)




(original)

I just lost my appealtite.

PT: Revista Época, sempre motivo de orgulho.

EN: When you work for Globo, like Pedro Bial, why would you need to know any English?




(original)

Big Brother (of Grammar) Is Watching You

PT: Bial conceitual sensacional. Por que um jornalista precisaria saber outra língua, pra falar nela? Que coisa mais regrada essa internet. No seu caso, as palavras "big" e "brother" já são suficientes.

EN: One of Brazil's most celebrated journalists (of yore) is not struggling enough, apparently.




(original)

imitando Fernanda Young

PT: Fernanda Young é tão culta, mas tão culta, que sua cultura equivale à cultura da assessoria (?) da Josi.

EN: Brazilian writer wants to do Playboy because she's an enlightened intellectual.
Pleonastic, I know, I'm exercising my tautology, just as she's exercising her grammar, calling a dance pole a pole dance.




(original)

Growling Stone and the RATionalization of attitude

PT: Se tem uma coisa que a gente adora, é quando o erro é tão errado, que até a URL vem errada de brinde. Então é bem possível que a imagem abaixo não tenha necessidade de explicação. Se você entende de horóscopo chinês, e das possibilidades de um cão ser confundido com um rato, fique a vontade para explicar.

EN: Maybe they've mistaken the dog for a rat? Pretty plausible, I'd say. I don't blame them.



(clique para ampliar | click to enlarge)

original: http://www.rollingstone.com.br/secoes/novas/noticias/weezer-divulga-faixas-de-ratitude

edit: bonus track

I'm starting to think it's on purpose, really.


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(original)

ménage à trois

PT: Talvez uma tática de camuflagem de erros? Confundir as pessoas chamando atenção para erros em uma língua, fazendo com que você esqueça dos erros nas outras?

EN: I never thought I'd see the day when brazinglish and frenglish would come together so magnificently (and that I'd know enough French to get it).




(original)